An olive is permeated throughout with the oil of the olive. There is no part of the olive pulp which is not oily. In the same way God-consciousness permeates the whole of our being -and indeed the whole of the universe.  Now olives may suffer from too much or too little sunshine, too much or too little rain; they may be damaged by fungus or pests; they may have damaged roots or come from poorer quality seed.  Neverthless each olive is thoroughly permeated with oil. Some "scientific" types may scoff at the idea of consciousness, let alone God-consciousness, permeating our beings. I take refuge in a quote from Albert Einstein.

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality."    

Yet science is increasingly moving towards the understanding that, beyond the atom and the quark there exists nothing but consciousness.  Just watch films like What the Bleep do we Know and The Secret.  Einstein expressed reservations about the "reality" of the apparent world. What do you think of these quotes?

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. "

"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted. "

"Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better."

AND -

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. "

The world changes according to how we view it. It has long been known that particles behave like particles only until they are observed, and then they behave in waveform. In the area of personal development, and healing, it is argued that our world exists as a perception. Change your perception and the whole world changes.  We know that's true even from our everyday experiences.  Kids giving you a hard time? - then everything else looks gloomy too.  See a beautiful sunrise and  your outlook on the whole world changes. As Henry Ford said "Whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can't, you're right".  And as The Talmud says "The world is not as it is; the world is as we are"

These ideas are old hat to yogis. The 5000 year old yogic teachings recognise that the stuff of the universe is God-consciousness.  Once you can pierce that veil of illusion called "maya" you can perform extraordinary feats. Advanced yogis can manipulate energy without the use of particle accelerators.  Yogis have been known to stop their heart and breath for days or weeks; to have a different pulse on either wrist; to stand up to their neck in freezing cold water for hours; to lie in the snow covered with a wet blanket and dry the blanket with the heat they create with their consciousness (an old Tibetan yogic trick, this).  In modern times the yogi Sai Baba often produces objects - like watches  and gold rings - from thin air.  Not that this is the point of becoming a yogi. But it is one way that God chooses to remind us that the universe is more than what we perceive with the 5 senses.

Now I have no ambitions to produce gold watches from thin air, nor to stand up to my neck in freezing water.  For the time being I have enough damaged roots to work on (though the seed was very good!). I have been attacked by fungi and pests from childhood and have plenty of bruising to deal with. So I'm probably no different than you. And now that I near the end of this 5 months in Rishikesh I have a better perspective on what has happened. Allow me to quote some ideas about Rishikesh from a travelblog (www.travelblog.org - great site) because it explains perfectly my own take on this very special place.

"It’s one of the places that gives you what you need, whether you like it or not. The energies of Rishikesh are quite strange and volatile. It’s as though half of the time you're in bliss, and the other half in darkness. Like many ‘initiatory’ power places, it seems to magnify everything you feel and experience. It also has an uncanny way of pushing all your buttons. Lessons you could take a lifetime learning can be accomplished here in days or even hours. Being here is certainly not always comfortable - the lessons and challenges can be harsh..."  (Thanks Tiziana)

So what lessons and challenges have come up for me? Well, there were the physical challenges like the few days' diarrhoea and weakness. I couldn't stray far from the toilet and spent a few days in bed. But it was very strange because in the quiet time of doing nothing, I felt the presence of divine mother, of the divine feminine.  It was,strangely, quite a beautiful experience. - a feeling of being taken care of; a feeling of peace. I also had a viral throat infection which went on for a few weeks leaving me a bit jaded. Maybe I was clearing some throat chakra debris. But by far the bigger challenges came from emotional and spiritual challenges.

The people who come into our lives may possess qualities which we lack, or may mirror our own negative attributes. I spent 3 months flat-sharing with Eliza - she: intuitive, feminine, heart, emotional, and me: logical, brain, questioning, analytical. So that brought up challenges for both of us.  It also highlighted aspects of my dark side - here a smidgen of spiritual and intellectual arrogance; and there, more than a spot of a judgemental tendency. And of course Eliza had her own challenges and learnings.  After 3 months flat-sharing we both needed time apart - some seclusion.  We both learned a great deal from our time together; we both received exactly what we needed  so that we could become aware and then let go of our "stuff".  As we learn about our darker sides we can change if we want to.  But it's pretty uncomfortable.

No sooner did I have my own space than a young man arrived from America to stay for a few weeks.  As it happens he had come to me in Delhi for  treatment last year.  He has had a difficult year and blamed me and the work we did together for some of his problems.  So the atmosphere in the flat was a bit uncomfortable to say the least. I took his allegation very seriously and, being the introspective type, I did a lot of painful soul-searching. Up came all the old insecurities and self doubt. Could I really be responsible for his grief? Am I really that powerful??? And what did he mirror for me? Well spiritual and intellectual arrogance of course, with a hefty dose of judgement. Nice one, don't you think?  My hopeful conclusion was that he failed to take responsibility for himself and it was convenient to blame me.

There is a devotee of Yogananda in California who qualified as a medical doctor many years ago.  After he had qualified Swami Kriyananda told him that, rather than embark immediately upon a medical career, he should work in the gardens at the Ashram.  It wasn't till a few years later that the time was right for him to take up his medical career. It was necessary for him to work in the gardens to avoid going straight into the orthodox drug-cut-and-burn medical model; so as not to be defined by his training/indoctrination; so that he could expand as an individual; maybe to become undefined, and to expand into a larger Self. He is a wonderful and caring GP.  He recently gave a very interesting talk. He believes that his patients may benefit as much  from the love they receive in the practice as from any medication.

I seem to be going through a similar experience.  It feels like I am withdrawing from "being a therapist".  My life has been one of questioning and analysis (I studied philosophy and psychology at university and am naturally questioning and introspective, trying to figure out what makes me/us tick).  For the last 12 years I have been a "therapist".  My job has been to identify the fault-lines in people's functioning and help clients repair them. This has created something of a monster. It has become easy for me to see people's problems.  I also see their light.  But I would prefer to see their light more easily than their problems. I don't really want to see people as a bunch of problems - as needing "fixed".   Like the doctor I am needing a garden to tend in order to become more undefined - or at least that is my hope.  In this way perhaps I can grow into a larger Self. As we let go of self-defintion we open up to a greater potential, to the possibility of being more expansive..

Life is more complex than action/reaction/emotion and perceptions.There is a unifying force in the universe which delivers to us exactly the experiences that we need. Sometimes these are uncomfortable and sometimes they are painful. They are for our teaching and our growth. It is not always easy to appreciate this when we are ill, challenged or stressed. But if we can  remember this,and look for the divine plan behind the sometimes painful transformation, perhaps we can learn to love both our challenges, and ourselves, more. And as dear Albert said
 
"God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean." 

                                 Some of my students. To sponsor one of these kids visit www.mothermiracle.org

What next?  Well, I'll be in Scotland (resting!) for the month of April, then in America for 3 months. The beginning of August will see me at Lendrick lodge helping out again during the firewalking training.  I just love being in that very special energy. Perhaps I'll see some of you there. Back to India in September and a pilgrimage to the source of the Ganges at Gaumukh. 2 months at the Rishikesh school, one month in Phuket taking a teaching English course, and then several more months in Rishikesh for further punishment - I mean experience. These are my plans.  And yes, I know God will be having a good laugh.

                                        Swami Kriyananda

I'd like to finish with these words from a song written by Swami Kriyananda (Donald Walters) from a thought-provoking CD called Philosophy in Song.

Go On Alone! (Walk Like a Man)
by Donald Walters

Walk like a man, even though you walk alone.
Why court approval, once the road is known?
Let come who will, but if they all turn home,
The goal still awaits you: Go on alone!

Follow your dream though it lead to worlds unknown.
Life’s but a shadow once our dreams have flown.
What if men cry, “Your dream is not our own”?
Your soul knows the answer: Go on alone!

Give life your heart! Bless everything that’s grown;
Fear not the loving: all this world’s your own.
Make rich the soil, but once the seed is sown
Seek freedom, don’t linger: Go on alone!

OR as Albert Einstein said
"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice. "

With love and best wishes
Stan 

And, if you like what Albert has to say visit http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/albert_einstein.html