Dear Friends, Great Souls
I have been thinking of you often and wishing I could make the time to email you. It's 20:40 on Thursday evening here in Gurgaon on the outskirts of Delhi. Such a lot has happened since last September - selling Newlands Cottage, then 3 months at the Expanding Light retreat in California, initiation into the path of Kriya Yoga as a disciple of the avatar Paramhansa Yogananda, 2 pilgrimages in India, 6 weeks at Ananda Assisi, a month in California, a week in Germany, another week in Italy, 2 potential romances which never materialised (live in hope, though mostly I feel it's not a priority), and now back in India for 6 months. I took meditation teacher training twice - once in America and once in Italy. And my mother died most peacefully just 6 weeks ago which has had a profound effect on me as I have adjusted to the loss of that mother /feminine energy here on Earth. And in some indefinable way I know that loss has strengthened me as well as opening my heart a little more. I feel even closer to her now; she is always present for me in spirit whereas we only saw each other for brief spells once or twice a year when she was alive.
And in 2 weeks' time I will be moving to Rishikesh - a most holy city on the banks of the Ganges with many Saints and Sadhus and probably even more people who think they are saints and sadhus but aren't. It's a town of yoga and meditation, of Ashrams and cafes, of beggars and tourists, tarpaulin homes and rich hotels, of 2-stroke-engine-3-wheeler noisy polluting taxis called "phut-phuts" because of the noise they make, of dust and litter and noise, of honking car horns and bicycle bells, of cows in the road and desperate poverty - but mostly of great spiritual energy where, for millenia, people have meditated and prayed, where great yogis have lived and taught, where you see faces alight with ready smiles, and Spirit shines through the eyes of even the poorest children.
Myself and my American friend Eliza, went there for 4 days last weekend to see Patrick and Shahla, an American/Iranian duo who run the Mother Miracle school(www.mothermiracle.org) for some of the poorest kids in Rishikesh (now numbering 160 and growing fast). We are going to be teaching there -perhaps Engish, yoga and meditation; but a very important element will be music. Mom left me just a little money and some of that will go to buy musical instruments for the school and we (or I) will be teaching guitar, keyboards and mantra and chanting. I reckon chanting is a pretty enjoyable way of learning English since i found it a good way to learn Italian. So I just have to learn a bit of Hindi now. Tomorrow we are going into Delhi to buy a keyboard (the keys light up to indicate what notes to play )and another guitar and a smaller guitar for the smaller fingers -and maybe a tambourine and Indian drums.
Rishikesh. Heaven on Earth. That was my feeling last Saturday morning as i did yoga on the roof of the Divine Ganga Cottage guest house where we were staying (just £4 a night and that's quite expensive). After yoga I was sitting on a chair in the sunshine overlooking the Ganges, surrounded by green-forested hills, drinking a cup of chai (sweetened milk tea) feeling sooooo peaceful. It felt like "coming home". It felt so right to be there. You can - and I did -do yoga , or exercise, or meditate anywhere on the banks of the Ganges and noone will bother you or even think twice about it. In fact I had found a quiet spot and was enjoying doing some yoga postures when a family decided to settle right next to me to bathe in the Ganges and do some washing. For me it was an interesting exercise in concentration as I focused on what I was doing and let their chatter and noise wash over me.
We went to see Patrick and Shahla who are delighted to have us work with them, and,lo and behold, the apartment right below them had just been vacated and was available for rent. We met the landlord the next day and so for 12000 rupees a month - £150 -we have a 2 bedroom furnished apartment right on the banks of the Ganges, away from the noise of the road, and right adjacent to the school (which is 2 rooms and a field). We were really excited to feel that we were being guided and taken care of and that this really is the right thing for us to be doing just now. Do you ever get that feeling of rightness - when everything just falls into place?
On Sunday we and the children built a great big straw man representing the wicked Ravana. His body was stuffed with rockets and fireworks and in the evening I was given the honor of setting him on fire. Bangers exploded and rockets flew in all directions (scant heed is given to Health and Safety here). When we return to Rishikesh on 7th november we will be just in time to celebrate Diwali. I don't know what it's about but there will be masive competition to see who can make the biggest bangs or shoot up the highest most spectacular rocket. And it's a 24 hour jamboree. Amidst the direst of circumstanecs, poverty and deprivation, the Indian population certainly know how to party. They might make the Rio festival look like a children's tea party.
Building Ravana Attacking Ravana Burning Ravana
And I am learning about life and the disappearing carrot. It seems that, in my life anyway, something happens to stimulate me to move in a particular direction. Going to India , for example. I initially was excited by Swami Kriyananda's plan to create a hospice type facility in combination with an orphanage. So I went to india earlier this year for a few months and spoke with Swami who was keen to see this getting started. By May , when i was in Italy, I knew for certain that I was to go to India. But when I spoke to Swami again in America in July he said the timing was not right just yet. So there was I, knowing I was to go to India but not for the hospice carrot. And now I am going (or so it seems!) to be living and teaching in Rishikesh - for the next 5 months anyway. And it may be that myself and Eliza have to do our teaching-in-india apprenticeship in Rishikesh while our Ananda organisation develops their own school programme - which should be coming on stream in the next year or two.
I am also aware that I am going through a process of "emptying"; getting rid of definitions of who or what I am. Letting go of expectations and attachments. Some of you will have heard the expression"we are human beings not human doings". And many argue that we should return to the state of "beingness". And as I am forced to let go of self-definition (by job, relationship, location, status, income, education), as I become more empty, it leaves space for other energy to come in (it's really simple physics isn't it?) And for me that means more space to be filled with.... Well with what? Well I feel more full of Joy; more full of Love; more ready to meet life's challenges (and there are plenty!). I feel closer to my Guru Paramhansa Yogananda. I feel guided and protected. In any healing sessions I do I know that I am a clearer channel and the more I am empty , the more the Masters work
through me, so that even seeing clients becomes a meditation.
"Ah yes" you may say,"But you need that education definition otherwise you couldn't teach those children". Well you know, I have only recently qualified as a teacher of yoga and meditation, I have no qualification to teach English (it's 40 years since I did English "A" level, and I am an OK piano player and guitarist. And do you think the children care about my qualifications? The fact is that all the children want or need is a bit of teaching and a lot of love (and I might be so bold as to suggest that it's the same everywhere).
I'm really glad to get this chance to connect with you all again. And now it's nearly 11pm and time to go to bed. Meditation tomorrow (and every day) from 6.45 to 8.30, then breakfast. Oh, then I'm going to get my teeth whitened. £90 here. £450 in Scotland!! It's not only spiritual benefits you receive here!!
Love and blessings to you all
Stan